I went back and looked through the photos our doula took during your birth. (Don’t worry, I told her no crotch shots. So if you’re ever looking through the iPhoto album someday, you won’t be scarred for life.) You’re only minutes old in this picture and I can’t even tell you what was going through my mind… Probably something like, “Oh God, Is he breathing OK?? He sounds a little gurgly.” In hindsight, I really wish I had more time with you before they took you into special care. Those first few hours were heartbreaking… and I often wonder if things could have been different. Perhaps our first weeks together wouldn’t have been so hard.

The year has been full of achievements, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. But I’m not going to sugar-coat this, kiddo: you can be one difficult little turd. Strong willed and high-maintenance. (Hopefully that’s not a preview of what your teenage years will be like. Mother protect us!) When I read the baby books looking for advice on how to calm you get you to stop the incessant screaming (Oh Lord, so much screaming), I always ended up in the “High Needs Baby” chapter. Thank God for “The Happiest Baby on the Block”, or I would have sold you to the Gypsies 8 months ago! :)

All joking aside, you are such a serious little boy — quite the sensitive little thinker. I wonder where you get this trait from?? Perhaps your grandpa Boehmke (or “Big G” as he refers to himself)… which is probably why he’s able to make you smile so easily. And let me tell you, when you let your guard down and flash those cute little chicklet teeth in a smile, my heart just melts. While few and far between, I just LIVE for your smile and your laugher.

I could ramble on indefinitely about how awesome this year has been. But instead, I’m just going to say thank you: for teaching me patience and for being the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Love, Mama

My mother used to threaten me by saying, “I hope, when you grow up, you have a child just like you!” Maybe all parents say that to their offspring… but I’m starting to dread those words like a gypsy curse. Judging by what my Mother-In-Law has said about Mike, and how I know I acted as a youngster, this little boy is going to give us a run for our money!! I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Clearly, I don’t have a choice. :)

[ November 11, 2009 ]

I recall a time when having kids was the last thing on my mind! You see, unlike some of my friends, I never had the overwhelming urge to procreate. The thought of stepping foot in a baby store used to give me the sweats, and quite frankly, I still hate going in them. I really haven’t enjoyed very much of the first 3 months — with the sole exception of seeing the first ultrasound. I can’t see myself being one of these women that proclaims to the world how much they love being pregnant. But then again, who knows; it’ve got a long 6 months ahead of me, as I start to balloon and not be able to fit into my clothes.

[ I didn't need the ultrasound tech to put the word "BABY" followed by 4 exclamation points to know what I was looking at here. ]

I would like to just skip through the pregnancy, labor & delivery business, but we all know that doesn’t happen unless you adopt. I know I sound negative about being pregnant. I don’t exactly hate it, but I just prefer how I feel when I’m not pregnant. I’m told by those more experienced that once you can feel the baby moving, it starts to get fun and interesting. I’ll keep you posted on that. :)

As the “all day” sickness is finally waning, Mike and I are starting to get excited about the prospect of being parents. Well, it’s a mixture of excitement and terror, but I challenge you to find any first time parent-to-be who isn’t a teensy bit terrified.

So throughout this whole adventure, I plan to resume blog business as usual (hopefully with a little more regularity) but perhaps also with pregnancy updates and maybe some “crafting for baby” fun. Sorry if that’s not what you were hoping for, but with the offspring growing inside me, it’s hard to think of much else.