Card Bashing
Once upon a time, in my teenage years, I would spend ages scanning the Hallmark store for the “perfect” card that conveyed just the right sentiment. Especially when it came to my friends. The ideal card was one that had some long and drawn out joke on the front and a side-splitting punch line on the inside. Also, the ones featuring chimpanzees dressed like people were a popular favorite. Hoo boy, those were the best! Monkey card, anyone?
I must have gotten the greeting card bug from my mom, who often buys two cards per occasion: one funny and one tear-jerker. Also, Mom is of the mindset that a greeting card is a quintessential element of the gift-giving process. You could choose the perfect gift, but without a card, it’s just not complete.
In recent years, I’ve changed my tune about cards. I owe my change of heart on two things: Mike has never been one for cards, and I think cards are a tremendous waste of paper and money! I mean, have you seen the cost of those things!? It’s highway robbery, I tell you!! 4 bucks for a folded piece of paper and and an envelope that will most likely end up in the garbage. Plus, companies like Hallmark expect you to buy cards for all kinds of occasions that should not require a card. For example: St. Patrick’s Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Cinco De Mayo, I could go on and on. Don’t even get me started on the sound-effect cards! Buy a REAL gift for God’s sake!
Another thing about cards that annoys me is that most people just write “Dear so-and-so, Love, yours truly” and that’s it! They’re a crutch for all those inarticulate folks out there who have no idea what to say to their loved ones — even I’ve been guilty of it on occasion. My mother is an exception; she always includes a personal note. If you look at vintage greeting cards, all they ever said was, “Happy Birthday” or “Seasons Greetings” and people had to come up with the nice words. It didn’t matter if it was poetry, it just mattered that the person took the time to say it.
So anyway, I didn’t mean for this entry to be a rampage about cards, but it looks like it’s ended up as such. I only brought it up because my Mom’s birthday is next week, and I have to either buy her a nice card with just the right message or make one. It’s looking more like I’m going to make one, since I’m such a cheapskate right now, and there’s no way I’m going to disappoint my otherwise awesome Mom!
We do not exchange cards in my family. Never have. I remember once my grandma made up a funny poem about “saving her money for her honey” and attached the couple of dollars she would have spent on a card. I think I still have that note somewhere.
Sue, That’s great! I wish I could instate a no cards rule in my house, but I think my Mom is a lost cause. :)
I hate cards and refuse to buy them… I set this standard long ago so no one expects one :D If I do need to send one for some reason I totally make them, you can do a search for cards for the occasion you want to find a funny punchline if you aren’t feeling the creative writing that day :)
Target has some innovative, visually stunning cards from their Papyrus line, girl. It’s the only way to go with cards now a-days.
Hallmark sucks quite a bit. In fact I recall spending an hour mulling over cards there for Alex’s birthday, and leaving thoroughly pissed, not to mention empty handed. The thrill of entering Hallmark to find the perfect card is no more.
One year, I found the perfect Mother’s Day card. Usually I go with the funny, but this one made me and my cold cynical self get all teary eyed. It also made my mom cry when she read it. I wonder if she kept it.
One card out of years and years of card buying.